The Love Boat: 1988 Ford LTD Crown Victoria

4 minute(s) of a 4 minute read

The result of 4 years of tinkering/thrashing

Our story so far:

Old guy needs a new ride (2019). I looked around at new cars and couldn't find anything I liked, so I went back to something I knew I'd like. I had one of these 20 years ago when it was just a used car and not at all special. This time it was gonna be different.

I was lucky (?) enough to find this rust-free example with only 49,000 miles at a dealer only 30 miles from my house. It hadn't run in years but started up on the first crank, after putting a battery in it. I could see some problems right off the bat (wouldn't upshift beyond second gear, for starters) but it had good bones and I drove it home. Did you know these will do 80 mph in second gear? I was lucky the tires didn't disintegrate, they were badly dry-rotted, but sometimes I just gotta do stupid things and I usually get away with it.

The dealer was nice enough to fill the tank for me. And when I got home I only had half of it. The rest was trailing behind, so the first order of business was to jack it up and put a bucket under the tank to catch the rest. Then I saw the cardboard-and-epoxy patch on the tank. Really? This is how it's gonna go?

The thing to remember when you buy a car from someone who patches the fuel tank with cardboard is that nothing else can be taken for granted. And I found a whole lot of sketchy shit on the way to where it is today, which is a reliable 4-season (!) car. Everything works, and mostly works as intended.

I will spare you the step-by-step progress, but in addition to two transmission rebuilds (you can't always trust a good reputation) it's gotten a new fuel tank, pump, and sending unit (lucky I found a NOS part), heater core (really big job), E-code Hella headlights with relays (mostly to preserve the headlamp switch, which tend to get crusty), 1991 clear indicator and sidemarker lenses (one year only and not easy to find) with white/amber switchback LEDs, a Kenwood stereo, dash pad topper, renewal of all the rubber parts I could find, additional door weatherstripping to control both wind noise and ice intrusion, daytime running lights in the fake lenses beside the headlights, and the usual belts/hoses/brakes/fluids that you'd do to any car that's 35 years old.

The paint is 90% original, but buffed to death by the seller. A few spots are very thin, which I am trying to ignore because they're only original once. Rust is also beginning to appear, true to its nature and environment, so it will no longer withstand a Pebble Beach inspection. But it's a driver, and I drive her.

When they make a quarter-million cars a year, it's tough to come up with a rare option, but this one does have the Brougham Roof Treatment (Marti Report says 1,731 were so equipped) which was installed by American Sunroof. This changes the roofline with fiberglass wedges (hidden by extra padding under the vinyl) and uses the rear window from a Lincoln Town Car. So that's kind of fun. 

Besides that, it's got every option except the Insta-Clear windshield and towing package. And, as noted, they all work. Yes, even the power antenna.

The only evidence of hackery (the rest you can't see!) is the toggle switch on the dash to trigger the AC compressor. Automatic Temp Control parts haven't been available for 20+ years, and the control units ALL fail, so this was the only way to restore system function. Did you know you could control interior temperature with a vacuum-operated system? It's a convoluted mess, and in '90 they changed over to an electrical climate control.

I have a full set of Ford service manuals, which have come in handy. I've put 180 hours of work into it, not including the transmission rebuilds (which are only my hours by acquisition).

Odometer now reads 62,000, with more to come. It gets comments and thumbs-up everywhere I go, and is a delight to cruise around in.